“Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.”.” — Psalm 13:3

Oh, the number of times that I have prayed this prayer, or one similar. “God, restore my joy!” God, make my heart happy again!”

Because there are moments in sobriety that don’t feel like victory. You doubt that the sparkle will ever come back.
Life is hard.

You are sober, look and act like you are “okay” but you struggle daily. You are overwhelmed with cravings. You long for an escape from the feelings. You long for someone to hold you and assure you that you ARE being healed.

You start wondering if anyone sees you at all. People. God. Any one.

That’s where Psalm 13:3 lives.

It’s desperate.
David isn’t asking politely—he’s pleading: Look at me. Answer me. Do something.

If you’ve ever sat and thought, “Why does this still hurt?” then you understand this verse more than you probably want to.

Because getting sober doesn’t mean everything suddenly feels okay.
Sometimes it means you finally feel everything you spent years trying to numb.

Dreams come in like a broken damn, memories that you have spent decades hiding, suddenly overtake you.