One thing I have learned in my walk with God is that Satan rarely attacks us in random places. More often than not, he attacks us in the exact area where God wants to use us the most.

For me, that area is addiction recovery.

I feel called by God to help women who are struggling with drugs and alcohol. My heart breaks for people who feel trapped, hopeless, and convinced they will never change. I know what it feels like to be bound by addiction. I know what it feels like to wake up and promise yourself that today will be different, only to find yourself fighting the same battle all over again.

Because of that, I believe God has given me a ministry. Not a ministry built on perfection, but a ministry built on experience, redemption, and grace.

And Satan hates it.

The enemy knows that if God can use my story, my struggles, and my victories to help someone else find freedom, then his hold on that person becomes weaker. So what does Satan do? He attacks the very area God wants to use.

Every day there is a battle.

Some days I hear the lie whispering in my ear: “Just one time won’t hurt. You’ve come so far. You can handle it now.”

Other days I want nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. I want to be as far away from that life as possible. Yet even on those days, the temptation can show up unexpectedly. A memory. A smell. A stressful situation. A moment of loneliness. The enemy is always looking for an opening.

The Bible tells us that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He wants to steal my testimony, kill my purpose, and destroy the ministry God is building in my life.

If he can’t stop me from believing in God, he will try to stop me from being effective.

If he can’t keep me from being saved, he will try to keep me distracted.

If he can’t erase my calling, he will try to convince me that I am unworthy of it.

The truth is that Satan is after me because of my addictions. He knows where I am vulnerable. He knows where I have fallen before. He knows exactly which lies to tell and which wounds to touch.

But there is another truth that is even more powerful.

The very fact that the battle is so intense may be evidence of how important the calling is.

The enemy doesn’t waste his energy attacking things that have no kingdom impact. He attacks the things that threaten his influence. He attacks the things God wants to use for His glory.

Moses struggled with speaking, yet God called him to speak to a nation.

Peter struggled with fear, yet God used him to preach boldly.

Paul persecuted Christians, yet God used him to spread the Gospel throughout the world.

God has always used imperfect people with real struggles to accomplish His purposes.

So when temptation comes, I remind myself that my struggle is not proof that God cannot use me. It is proof that I need Him every single day.

My ministry is not built on my strength. It is built on God’s strength working through my weakness.

I don’t know what tomorrow’s battle will look like. I don’t know what temptations may come my way. But I do know this: I refuse to surrender the ministry God has placed in my heart because of the attacks of the enemy.

Every day I choose recovery.

Every day I choose obedience.

Every day I choose to believe that God is bigger than my addiction and stronger than my temptations.

Satan may be after me, but God is fighting for me.

God, give me strength. Help me not to give up. Help me to take it one step at a time. And Lord, if I fall, pick me up. Forgive me. And give me the strength to try again! Redeem me! Heal me! Deliver me! Use me!