There are moments in life that don’t just hurt in one place—they hit everything.

Your mind won’t slow down.
Your body feels exhausted.
Your emotions are all over the place.
And spiritually… you feel distant, confused, maybe even a little lost.

It’s not just a bad day. It’s something deeper. Something heavier.

And the truth is—when something affects you mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you don’t just “snap out of it.” You have to walk through it.

I feel like God is giving me the tools to walk through it, but I HAVE to do the hard things, the things that feel uncomfortable. The things that I HATE doing. But if healing is what I want, I HAVE to take action. I won’t heal without it. So I whisper a prayer and ask God to give me the strength to do what He lays in front of me.

A few hard things I must do to walk out my healing:

The first step is being honest with myself and others. This is the time to say “I am not okay.” This is the time to ask for what I need. This is the time to let myself be vulnerable with someone trust-worthy. This is the time to allow others to see where I really am.

Next is to take care of my mind. I’ve heard it a thousand times, the battlefield is the mind, what you think you become. If you can win it in your head you can win it in real life. Taking care of my mind means pausing and challenging thoughts. Sitting in thoughts and hearing the truth, God’s truth in them. This is the hardest part. It takes continual work and practice. And it doesn’t come natural.

Next is to feel it but not let it define me. I am learning that it is okay to feel the pain, abandonment, grief, loneliness, disappointment; but not to wear it like an identity. I am NOT lonely, I am experiencing loneliness. I am NOT abandoned, I am feeling abandoned. There is a difference.

Next and the hardest one for me; take care of my body. I naturally ignore signs from my body. I let myself get dehydrated, I eat things that aren’t healthy and do not eat regularly. I’ve struggled with purging myself. I still struggle with self-harm. I don’t exercise regularly. All of these things impact my healing. If I want true healing, I have to practice taking care of my body.

Next is staying connected to God. I go back and forth with struggling on this one. Any given day I can feel really close to the Lord and like I am surrendered. The next day I can be angry, cussing God and in rebellion. The key to this is to continue putting forth the relationship with God despite my feelings toward Him. Feelings lie. And despite what I feel, God is longing for a relationship with me. I have to make myself available even if that means just sitting in His presence.

Next is to not isolate myself. This may be my biggest hurdle. Most days I am filled with shame and embarrassment. This causes me to want to hide. I feel like people know me too well, like they can see the ugly right inside me. I feel dirty. Too dirty. But part of the healing is to allow someone in, I can’t have healing without relationships. Healing usually comes through connection.

And finally – Don’t rush healing. Take it one moment at a time. I can’t rush this process. This is part of why I am in the place that I am, I rushed through healing after traumatic events. There is no timeline on healing. It is not linear. Sometimes it will look like 7 steps forward and 4 steps backward…. but that is still progress. I’m not expected to fix everything at once. The goal is to fix it for GOOD!

Dear heavenly father, I pray that YOU give me the strength to walk out this healing. That you take my efforts and multiply them. I pray for wisdom and guidance in how to do the hard things. Place the right people in my path to support me. And take those out that are/will do me harm or stop my healing. Lead me, guide me and sanctify me. I will trust You with my heart, life and journey. Provide for me my daily manna. Use my story for your glory! In Jesus Name, Amen!