Some days depression feels like drowning quietly. Actually, drowning sounds less painful than what I am experiencing. I wake up already exhausted, already defeated, already wondering how I’m supposed to survive another day feeling this empty. The future that I once prayed for feels so far away that I can barely picture it anymore. Hope feels like something meant for other people, not me.

Lately, all I want to do is isolate. I don’t want to answer texts. I don’t want to be around anyone. I don’t even know how to explain the heaviness sitting on my chest. I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread, trying not to fall back into the only things that ever numbed the pain — drugs and alcohol. The cravings get loud when the pain gets louder.

I’m desperate for peace. Desperate to feel whole again. Desperate to believe my life can still become something beautiful. Right now, I have no hope.