During my quiet time last week, I felt these words in my spirit:

Change me, Lord.
Heal me, Lord.
Redeem me, Lord.
Lead me, Lord.
Use me, Lord.
Sanctify me, Lord.

It wasn’t just a prayer—it felt like an invitation. Almost like He was asking me, “Will you say this every day until you believe it?”

At first, I repeated the words because I needed to. Because I didn’t know what else to say. Because I was desperate. Because I didn’t trust myself anymore. I didn’t trust my decisions, my cravings, or my emotions. But somewhere deep down, I wanted to trust Him again.

So, I whispered them.

Then I spoke them.

Then I clung to them.

“Change me, Lord.”
Because the old ways aren’t working anymore. The numbing, the running, the self-destruction. I’m not asking for behavior modification. I’m asking to be completely different. I want people to look at me and think ‘wow! This is not the same woman.”

“Heal me, Lord.”
Addiction isn’t just about substances—it is about wounds. Loss. Grief. Abandonment. Trauma. The things I try to bury but keep resurfacing. I need healing that goes deeper than anything I can do for myself.

“Redeem me, Lord.”
Shame has a tight grip on me. The choices. The relationships. The things I said, the things I did. I don’t just regret them—I feel stained by them. But redemption means nothing is wasted. Not even my worst chapters.

“Lead me, Lord.”
Because I clearly don’t know how to lead myself. Every time I take control, I end up lost. So, I surrender. Daily surrender. Even when I don’t know where He was taking me.

“Use me, Lord.”
This one is hard. Because how can someone like me be used for anything good? But hopefully, my story—the broken, messy, painful parts—can actually help someone else feel less alone.

“Sanctify me, Lord.”
Not just save me—but transform me. Set me apart. Make me new in a way that shows up in how I live, love, and respond to life. This isn’t overnight work. This is daily surrender, daily refinement.

At first, the words felt empty. Then they felt like hope.
Then they felt like discipline. Then they became truth.

Some days I say them through tears.
Some days I say them with strength.
Some days I say them because it’s all I have left.

But every time I say them.

I am becoming sober.

I am becoming who God created me to be.

So, I will say it until it settles in my spirit.
I will say it until I start to believe it.
I will say it until I see it.

Change me, Lord.
Heal me, Lord.
Redeem me, Lord.
Lead me, Lord.
Use me, Lord.
Sanctify me, Lord.